Smurfette In Charge: A Narrator's Story/Part 1
It was a quiet evening at Tapper's Tavern, where the Smurfs were enjoying themselves with glasses of sarsaparilla ale and playing games with each other while talking about the day they lived through as well as whatever was on their minds. Tapper was with a few Smurfs at the counter talking about something that was important. "So what do you think of the story Narrator had told about Smurfette being smurfnapped by Gargamel and these Naughties he has created?" Chatty asked. "Personally, my fellow Chatty, I find it interesting how Narrator is able to smurf into these other stories and back into our own without much of anybody really noticing," Tapper said. "That's the problem with Narrator...he never smurfs put in any one particular story," Brainy said. "My theory is that he actually originated from one of those other stories and was smurfed here for the sake of us having some Smurf in the village that we can know offhand is actually a member of our village." "So you really think there was no Narrator Smurf that actually exists among us, that this so-called creator of our stories has smurfed him from some other creator's stories?" Chatty said. "It's just a theory that I have, Chatty, not that I'm saying that it's the truth, because we'll never know whether it is true that Narrator is a true Smurf that exists among us or not," Brainy said. "It's the same theory that I have about some of the other Smurfs in the village like Tapper's friend Duncan McSmurf, whom Hefty likes to call Gutsy, and that Smurf called Crazy who always likes to smurf those sound effects." "I'm not sure that I would believe in this theory of yours, my fellow Brainy, but I still find Narrator's stories entertaining at the very least," Tapper said. "I myself would surely like to visit these places like New York City or even Paris to see for myself what they are really like as far as human villages." "Well, don't think that I will ever be smurfing up a music band called the Brainiacs, because I think that the music is too much like the Smurflings' music, too wild and uncivilized," Brainy said. "I wouldn't be so sure of that, Brainy," Chatty said. "You might wake up one morning with a guitar in your smurfs and having a desire to play that kind of music." "Right, over my dead smurfs am I going to let this creator of our stories smurf his way with me," Brainy said with his arms folded and his nose in the air. Just then, Empath and Smurfette had joined the three Smurfs at the counter. "Greetings, my fellow Empath and dear Smurfette," Tapper said. "So how goes your day in the village this fine evening?" "This smurf was just showing Smurfette all the tasks that are involved in being the assistant counselor of the village, Tapper," Empath said. "I was thinking of possibly smurfing myself as a volunteer assistant leader of the village for whenever Papa Smurf is away visiting Homnibus or something," Smurfette said. "A Smurfette being the leader of the Smurf Village? But that's just impossible!" Brainy said. "Impossible? What's so impossible about Smurfette being the leader of the Smurf Village, Brainy?" Chatty asked. "I mean, look at her...who's going to listen to Smurfette smurfing orders to any of her fellow Smurfs and follow them like they would if it were smurfing from Papa Smurf or any of us?" Brainy said. "You're assuming that Smurfette wouldn't make a great leader of the Smurf Village just because she's a female Smurf, my dear Brainy," Tapper said. "Honestly, would you let Smurfette run things in the village if she was left in charge by Papa Smurf, Tapper?" Brainy asked. "The only thing I would do, Brainy, is at least give Smurfette the benefit of a doubt and let her smurf a try, because who knows how effective she may be with her own unique talents," Tapper said. "Well, forgive me if I don't smurf the same level of confidence that you have with Smurfette, because traditional wisdom seems to dictate that only a male Smurf is able to run a village very effectively, and that a female's role is to follow his orders and to smurf care of things that are suitable only for a female Smurf," Brainy said. "'Suitable only for a female Smurf', huh?" Smurfette said with some anger in her voice. "Are you trying to weasel your way out of smurfing things like taking care of Baby Smurf?" "Oh, come on, Smurfette, this isn't me trying to 'weasel my way out' of anything...it's just simply a delegation of authority," Brainy said. "Why would a Smurfette need to bother herself with things that concern the proper function and the survival of the whole village? It would be too much for your mind to handle on a daily basis." "This smurf thinks that Smurfette can handle taking care of the village whenever Papa Smurf or even this smurf is away on important missions or visits, Brainy," Empath said. "The only thing that she needs is a chance to prove herself." "And you're actually going to ask Papa Smurf if he's going to let her become an assistant leader, Empath?" Brainy said. "Well, good luck with him actually smurfing her a definite yes to that plan." "Oooh, just you wait until I become an assistant leader, Brainy Smurf," Smurfette said, feeling herself ready to throw Brainy out of the village. At that point, Narrator had arrived at the tavern. "Good evening, my fellow Smurfs," he said. "What are you smurfing about at the counter tonight?" "Oh, we were just discussing Smurfette's interest in becoming the assistant leader of the Smurf Village, my fellow Narrator," Tapper said, as he poured his fellow Smurf a cup of hot smurfberry tea. "That's an interesting coincidence, Tapper, because I have just come from smurfing in a story where Smurfette did become the assistant leader, and boy, that was some experience," Narrator said as he received his tea. "I did become an assistant leader, Narrator?" Smurfette asked, sounding curious. "Oh, please, you've got to tell me the whole story." "This smurf is also interested in knowing how it came about that the Smurfette in your story became an assistant leader, Narrator," Empath said. "Well, let me get settled down first and I will explain the whole story," Narrator said as he sat down at the counter and drank a bit of his tea. "You see, it all started when Smurfette was at her house smurfing with her garden..." ----- As Narrator told his story, Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw at that moment Smurfette standing outside her house, looking at her garden, while outside her fence the other Smurfs were busy with their own things. Sassette was also standing next to her looking at the garden. "Sunbathing sunflowers, Smurfette, I think your garden looks absolutely smurfy," Sassette said. "Well, it's certainly worth the effort that I put into smurfing it, Sassette," Smurfette said. "Now all it needs is just a little water." "Can I smurf the pump, Smurfette? Oh, can I, can I, can I?" Sassette asked, all eager to help. "Of course, Sassette, but remember not to oversmurf the watering can," Smurfette said, handing her the watering can. Sassette went over to the pump and tried pulling the lever to get the pump to function, only to find something wrong. "Smurfette, I can't get the pump to smurf," Sassette said as she struggled uselessly with the lever. "Here, Sassette, let me smurf it," Smurfette said as she tried to pull the lever herself but got the same response: nothing. "Oh, smurf it all, this thing isn't smurfing." "Is there something the matter, Smurfette?" Handy asked as he was just passing by Smurfette's house, noticing her struggling with the pump lever. "Smurfette can't get the pump to smurf, Handy," Sassette said. "We smurfed the lever on this pump and the water does not smurf out," Smurfette said as Handy came into the garden to check it. Handy pulled on the lever and saw the problem for himself. "Hmmmm, I seem to know what the problem is." "Really, Handy?" Sassette asked. "Then what is it? How come the pump won't smurf out water?" "Oh, it's a smurf technique, Sassette...something that you're too young to understand," Handy answered. "Well, maybe you can tell me what the problem is with the pump, Handy," Smurfette suggested. "I'm not sure you would understand it either, Smurfette," Handy said. "But don't worry your smurf about it...I'll smurf by and fix it soon enough." Smurfette and Sassette watched as Handy left the garden. "Just what is it about pumps that Handy thinks neither of us will be able to understand, Smurfette?" Sassette asked. "I don't know, Sassette, but I don't like how Handy treated either of us," Smurfette said, glaring at Handy as he left. "Aw, let's forget about that and smurf a walk around the village," Sassette said. Smurfette sighed. "I guess you're right...getting the pump fixed will have to wait," she said as she took Sassette's hand and they started walking out of the garden together. Then Sassette saw the three boy Smurflings with three adult Smurfs dressed in white overalls and carrying a ladder, passing by. "Hey, Smurflings, what's going on here?" Sassette asked. "Oh, we're just going to help them paint the dining hall, to make sure that the job get smurfed by tonight, Sassette," Snappy answered. "That's right," one of the three adult Smurfs said. "We're going to be smurfing the high parts of the dining room while your friends smurf the low parts." "That sounds like fun," Smurfette said. "I could smurf you boys a hand with that." "You're not seriously thinking of smurfing that, are you, Smurfette?" a second of the three adult Smurfs said, sounding incredulous. "You'll smurf paint all over your beautiful dress." "Oh, that won't be a problem," Smurfette said. "I'll be smurfing overalls just like you." "You in overalls, Smurfette?" a third of the adult Smurfs said. "Look, this is not a place for you." "Yeah, you're just much more that kind of a Smurf," the second adult Smurf said. "Besides, we have all the help we need...right, Smurflings?" "Well, maybe I can help make sure that you Smurfs have all the paint you need to finish the job or something," Sassette offered. "Oh, why don't you go play with Smurfette and leave us boys alone to smurf the important jobs of the village?" Snappy said. "Yeah, we can handle this job all by ourselves," Nat said. "Have fun smurfing around with Smurfy Lou, Sassette," Slouchy said as the three boy Smurflings headed off in the same direction as the three adult Smurfs with the ladder. "First it's Handy and now it's these Smurfs and the Smurflings, Smurfette," Sassette said. "When is this ever going to end?" "I know how you feel, Sassette," Smurfette said. "It's like we're being treated as if we're not truly Smurfs in this village." Then the two of them saw Hefty and Nabby walking with baskets in their hands. "Where are you boys smurfing off to...the forest?" Smurfette asked as she and Sassette intercepted them. "We're going to smurf for wild smurfberries at the bottom of the great ravine, Smurfette," Hefty answered as he and Nabby stopped. "Oooh, wild smurfberries!" Sassette said. "Can we please smurf with you? Me and Smurfette can smurf our own baskets together!" "I'm afraid it could be too dangerous, Sassette," Hefty said. "We could be smurfing into a wild animal when we smurf there." "Hefty's right, Sassette," Nabby said. "It's not exactly a place for either a Smurfette or a Sassette." "Oh, don't worry...we'll smurf some smurfberries on our return," Hefty said as he and Nabby started to depart. "And then you can prepare for us a smurfy fresh lemonade when we smurf back here, Smurfette." "And perhaps some cookies that you can smurf while you're at it," Nabby added, before the two of them walked out of earshot while Smurfette and Sassette just looked at them, with Smurfette thinking nasty thoughts of Hefty and Nabby. "Well, that just smurfs it," Sassette said, sounding really upset. "We need to tell Pappy Smurf about this." "Need to tell me about what, Sassette?" Papa Smurf said as he approached the two female Smurfs, looking at them rather concerned. "First it's Handy who won't smurf me what's wrong with my pump, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said. "Then it's three Smurfs who won't let either of us help them or the Smurflings with painting the dining hall, and now it's Hefty and Nabby who won't let us smurf down into the ravine to smurf wild smurfberries with them. They think that we're just frail little creatures with nothing in the smurf. I'm just nothing more than a doll to them with a smurf of pretty dresses and some smurfy cookies." "Yeah, why do those boys think we can't smurf the same things that they can, Pappy Smurf?" Sassette asked. "I don't think that any of them intend to smurf any harm to either of you, my little Smurfettes," Papa Smurf said. "You're both unique and special Smurfs...just maybe too unique and special in their minds to really see how you could be useful beyond what they think a Smurfette can smurf." "But isn't there anything you can do to help them change their minds about us, Papa Smurf?" Smurfette said. "Yeah, like what if Smurfette was smurfed in charge of running the whole village for a time?" Sassette suggested. Papa Smurf stroked his beard while thinking of something. "You know, that wouldn't be such a bad idea, Sassette. I'll let the other Smurfs know what's going to happen when the time smurfs." ----- "And so it was at dinnertime that Papa Smurf made an announcement to his little Smurfs about something important that was going to happen," Narrator said. "Little did anybody know what the purpose of it actually was." As Narrator continued his story, Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw the Smurfs all gathered in the dining hall, enjoying a dinner of smurfberry pie. "Now that really smurfs the spot right there, laddie," Gutsy said to Brewer as he finished another helping of pie, sounding really satisfied. "I wonder what happened to Smurfette today that she's not smurfing with us at dinner, Gutsy," Brewer said as he looked around at those sitting at the table. "I only wish I knew," Gutsy said. "Maybe she's on a diet or something, so she could watch her weight...you know, to keep that smurfy figure that she has." "I have a feeling that it's more than just her being conscious about her weight, my friend," Brewer said. "I can only hope that there's nothing wrong with her tonight." Gutsy sighed. "I'm right there with you on that, laddie." It was at this point when Papa Smurf stood up and tapped his glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. "My little Smurfs, I have something important to smurf you," he began to speak. "I'll be leaving in the morning to smurf with the enchanter Homnibus. We'll be smurfing some important research together." "Again?" one of the Smurfs said. "In the past I had to smurf with some unpleasant events that have smurfed on in the village during my absence," Papa Smurf continued, "so this time I have decided that I'm going to smurf a leader who will replace me." "A leader, Papa Smurf?" Brainy asked. "Who's it going to be?" "I haven't smurfed up my mind as to who's it going to be just yet, Brainy," Papa Smurf said. "You will know my decision right before I leave. That is all that I have to smurf." And so as Papa Smurf left the dining hall to prepare for his departure, the Smurfs were talking among themselves about the announcement. "A leader to replace Papa Smurf?" Handy said. "Well, that's new." "That's going to be a tough choice for him to smurf," Vanity said while looking at himself in his mirror. "I only hope that he smurfs the right decision." "Oh, have faith in Papa Smurf...he'll smurf the right choice before he leaves," Brainy said. "And so as the Smurfs left the dining hall, most of them were thinking that Papa Smurf was going to choose them as the new temporary leader for one reason or another," Narrator said, as Empath and his fellow Smurfs watched the Smurfs in the story leave the dining hall, hearing the inner monologue of each of the Smurfs. "I know that it's going to be me...there's just no doubt about it," Brainy thought to himself. "I'm the smartest Smurf in the village, and the one that Papa Smurf has smurfing in his lab on crucial experiments from time to time." "I know for sure that it's going to be me," Handy thought to himself. "I'm the one who can smurf up a solution to every Smurf's problem, and besides I'm very good with smurfing tools and mechanical parts." "It's going to be me, I can just feel it," Hefty thought to himself as he clenched a fist. "The other Smurfs are going to respect me when they see that I smurf a strong fist and that I can smurf things in order." "If Papa Smurf's gonna be smurfing any Smurf for being the leader of this village, it's going to be me," Farmer thought to himself. "After all, it takes a farmer to smurf the right decisions as to when everything should be smurfed out in the fields." Greedy sighed as he picked up all the empty dishes in the dining hall. "I'm already in smurf of the entire kitchen...why not the whole village?" he thought to himself. "And at night, the Smurfs were also dreaming of what it's going to be like for them to be the leader of the village," Narrator said. And as Empath saw night fall over the village, he also saw each of the Smurfs' dreams as Narrator described them. The first dream that he saw was Hefty's. "Now we're going to smurf an hour of running, and then a smurf," Hefty told the other Smurfs. "Fine, Hefty Smurf," the Smurfs said together. The next dream that he saw was Brainy's. "Tonight there's going to be an important lecture from me, Brainy Smurf...and no excuses will be tolerated," he told the other Smurfs. "Do you understand?" "Yes, Brainy Smurf," the Smurfs said together. Then there was Greedy's dream. "You two will be smurfing dishes after tonight's meal," he told two Smurfs. "Right away, Greedy Smurf," they both said together. 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